A poodle and a collie are walking together when the poodle suddenly lunges at his friend.
“My life is a mess,” it says. “My owner is a bad person, my girlfriend ran off with a schnauzer, and I’m as nervous as a cat.”
“Just the other day, the mailman almost ran me over, the neighbor’s cat chased me, and then the paperboy managed to hit me with a paper thrower.”
“I think I have fleas, or at least I’m allergic to the new bird my owner bought me.
“All in all, I’m a complete mess, and I don’t know what to do!”
“Why don’t you see a psychiatrist?” asks Collie.
“I can’t,” says the poodle.
“I’m not allowed on the couch.”
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