An Amish woman was driving her horse and buggy into town with her young son when she was stopped by a highway patrolman. “I’m not going to give you a ticket,” the officer said, “I just wanted to warn you that the reflector on the back of your car is broken and could be dangerous.” “Thank you,” said the Amish ...

A man has been fishing by the lake all day. … and he catches nothing. He decides to give up, but on his way home he notices a boy fishing a few feet away. The man immediately notices that the boy has caught several buckets of fish, and then he sees him catch another one. “Excuse me,” the man says, ...

An elderly woman is speeding down the highway when she sees a policeman with a radar gun. The policeman signals her to pull over, then walks up to her and asks her with a smile: “What’s your hurry?” “I’m late for work.” “Sure,” says the officer, “what do you do?” “I’m a rectal distender.” “What? A rectal distender? What exactly ...

A woman was walking on the beach when she came across a genie lamp. She picked up the lamp, rubbed it, and lo and behold, a genie appeared. Surprised, the woman soon came to her senses and asked if she had three wishes. The genie replied, “No… Due to inflation, constant downsizing and fierce global competition, I can only grant ...

Sometimes, as a leader, you have to hide your doubts… …something this captain knows all too well. A ship was sailing in a dangerous part of the sea. The captain saw a pirate ship approaching his ship. The captain shouted to his crew, “Gentlemen, bring me my red shirt!” The crew brought him his red shirt, he put it on, ...

As a man leans against the farm gate and watches the farmer round up the sheep, he realizes that the farmer is using a pig, not a sheepdog. What’s more, the pig skillfully herding the sheep into the pen has only three legs. “Excuse me,” the man says to the farmer, “but why does this pig only have three legs?” ...

Dave bragged to his boss one day: “I’ll tell you, I know everybody who needs to be known. You name one, any one, I know him.” His boss got tired of his bragging and decided to call his bluff. “Okay, Dave, how about Elon Musk?” “Oh, Elon and I go way back and I can prove it.” So Dave and ...

A cocky lawyer had just bought a new sports car. … and he couldn’t wait to show it off to all his colleagues. He parked at the side of the road and opened the driver’s side door, when suddenly an eighteen-wheel truck appeared out of nowhere and took the driver’s side door with it. “No! My Jaguar, my Jaguar!” the ...

A young man was inspired to help with his church’s fundraiser. He asked the preacher if he could go door to door selling Bibles. The preacher agreed, but knowing that the young man stuttered, he gave him only 3 Bibles to sell. The next day, the young man returned and asked for more. The preacher gave him 5 more. The ...

A tourist was fishing off the coast of Florida when his boat capsized. … He could swim, but he was afraid of alligators and clung to the side of the overturned boat. Seeing an elderly beachgoer standing on the shore, the tourist shouted, “Are there any alligators around here?” “No,” the man shouted back. “There haven’t been any for years!” ...